And a month later…
Ok so it’s been almost a month since my last post. I call it a moment of reflection, but it is truly…just plain old laziness. Alas, I could no longer resist another post to update the one person who actually reads this. My love affair with Zoli is going quite well. Life seems less stressful, more vibrant, funnier….easier. I cried once in 3 weeks. ONCE! ONE SINGLE TIME! It’s pretty awesome. I was remembering the horrible incident so many years ago around this time of year and it brought tears to my eyes. But this time, the empty, hollow and gut wrenching ache was gone….they were, simply put, just tears.
I have to admit…I absolutely love these pills. I look forward to them daily. My relationships are improving. My attitude is improving. My life is improving. My emotions, however, feel absent. I feel like sometimes I’m not really here. I have no opinions, good or bad, about anything. When someone asks me how I am feeling, I answer, “I feel nothing.” There is no absolute joy, there is no absolute sadness. I am content and focused. I am living life for once even if it is without emotion. I am not offended by what people say or do. I am no longer paranoid or insecure. I am feeling normal for once.
The only side effects I could probably live without is the fatigue and headaches. My appetite is back to normal. I thought for sure I’d lose my sex drive but it is still there. The only difference is that I no longer hunger for it so much that it consumes my thoughts. When the offer is presented, I will take it and enjoy it. Otherwise….I do not care.
“Oh Dearest Zoli….you make my life so much more likable. 
“
